As you can probably tell from the title of this post, this contains some girly content, so guys beware! But it is definitely one of the most important posts I’ve ever written so I encourage you to read it!
I’m sure it’s no secret to you all that one of my big reasons for choosing recovery was to regain my natural menstrual cycle, which hasn’t ever been regular or normal to my knowledge (and hasn’t been present at all for like 2.5 years!). I saw my midwife earlier this year, who suspected hypothalmic amenorrhea, but we decided to hold off on blood tests and give it some time to come back on its own. I came to the realization that my diet and exercise habits were negatively affecting my fertility, and have made some serious changes over the past 2 months to get things back in order.
Let’s just say that some things have happened lately that have made me realize that it is going to take me far longer than suspected to get my period back.
If you remember a couple weeks back, I had some abdominal pains that I was almost certain were ovulation pains. (Yes I was diagnosed by google… we’ve all done it right??) So I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of a monthly visitor sometime last week. But the days came and went, and sadly, no period.
I was so disappointed, and so confused guys. But then out of the blue, it just hit me… well maybe, JUST MAYBE, I managed to conceive on my very first cycle. As I was taking the pregnancy test, I felt silly because I just knew it was such a long shot. So you can bet my jaw dropped to the floor when two pink lines appeared on the test strip. That’s right, friends… I AM PREGNANT!! 🙂
And that is just freaking marvelous.
I am absolutely over the moon about it! Never in my dreams did I think it would happen this quickly. Of course, it is still very early in the pregnancy (4-5 weeks now), but I just didn’t feel like trying to hide it for another month!
I was afraid to post this because I’m sure there’s people out there who would see conceiving a child while still recovering from disordered eating as a selfish thing to do. But then I thought to myself, how many pregnancies (including my first!) were not even planned at all? How many people become pregnant while dealing with mental illness, or while being a smoker, or while financially unstable? And who are we to say that those people should not have children? There is no one factor that can determine what kind of parent a person will be. Obviously my body has showed some degree of readiness to bear a child, and I know in my heart that I am emotionally capable of another pregnancy.
BUT, with that being said… it will be ever so important that I am giving my body everything it needs so that the baby is well nourished. I plan to do another post going into the whole pregnancy body image/ED recovery-related stuff, but for now I just had to get this big announcement out there! I am so so so happy!!!
Can’t wait to share this journey with the blog world! And thank you to all my readers for being so patient!