Hey guys! Long time, no post huh? I’m sure it’s no huge surprise that my horrible morning sickness is the culprit behind my absence. I’ve had a couple people ask me if I’m still blogging, and I’ve honestly had to think about it. I don’t want to quit blogging, but I really am not able to commit to it like I used to. I also don’t feel like my content is going to “fit” the original purpose of my blog, which was a “journey of recovery from restrictive and disordered eating.”
Of course, we all know that ED recovery is a seemingly never-ending journey. It something that may disappear for quite some time, until some event in your life causes those old patterns of thinking and behavior to creep back in without you noticing. I have no doubt that I will eventually have to face those behaviors again in my life. But right now, there isn’t the slightest trace of ED ideation in my head. I am basically in survival mode here – I am doing everything I can in my power to get (and keep!) ANY food down whatsoever.
I know that many a few people read this blog as a source of inspiration, motivation, or support through their own recovery. And I hope that in the future, I can continue to be that source. But for now, it’s just going to be about me trying to stay as healthy as possible throughout this pregnancy. I also feel like I’m not being a very good blog friend by not reading and commenting as I normally do. No offense at all people, but most of the blogs in my reader are full of yummy food pictures. I just can’t look at it anymore guys. The smell or sight of foods that don’t sit right with me at the moment are enough to send me running for the bathroom. So nothing personal, but I’m probably going to limit my blog reading to those rare instances (like now! hooray!) when I feel a least a little bit okay.
Still friends??? Gah I promise I will be back eventually!
So it’s also obvious then that my posts will be fewer and farther between. So since I don’t know when I’ll be back, I’ll go ahead and give you a little update on how things are going.
We had our first appointment with my midwife yesterday. Everything looks good – we even got to do an early ultrasound and hear the teeny little baby’s heartbeat. Yes! There is a heartbeat at 6.5 weeks! Even though he’s pretty much just a little bean at this point.
I was also right on the money with my prediction about when I ovulated. Due date is officially December 18th… 1 week before Christmas! The ultrasound tech was able to confirm which ovary the egg came from… the left. So crazy because I totally felt it on the left side! It blows my mind how it’s like I just knew exactly what was going on this time, when last time I was just like “HOW ON EARTH COULD THIS POSSIBLY HAVE HAPPENED!?!?!?!”
Anyways, we are holding off on bloodwork until next visit on June 2nd. For now, we just got my baseline weight, blood pressure, etc. Unfortunately, the weight is still dropping slowly. Fortunately, it is not dangerous to lose weight in the first trimester (unless it is drastic of course!) As long as I can get SOME food down, take my vitamins, and stay hydrated, I have no need to worry. We also decided to hold off on taking nausea medications for as long as possible. I am going to do my best to make it through the first trimester. I am quite adamant about natural pregnancy and birth, so I’ll have to be pretty desperate before I resort to Zofran. I took it in the second trimester last pregnancy up until about week 20. I had already lost my job, and was afraid I’d lose my new one if I didn’t do something about the morning sickness. Thankfully it did the trick!
So that’s all for now. Til next time, I’ll just try & hang in there!