I’ve made it through one solid month of legit ED Recovery and life is good! Since I’ve made it this far, I think I’m going to cut back to doing these posts once a month from now on until I feel like I’m 110% recovered. And then it’s probably still a good idea for me to sit down and reevaluate myself occasionally to make sure old habits aren’t slipping back in unnoticed. P.S. If I do ever start to do that – please, by all means, call me out on it! I need some accountability here, peeps!
** I have posted any numbers or potentially triggering info in white. Just highlight it with your cursor if you’re interested. If not, then just read through!**
My weight is still going up, but it seems to be slowing down. So far I have gained 12 lbs. It seems like such a large amount of weight to gain in a short period of time, but I am surprisingly okay with it. I have gone from a BMI of 19.4 to 21.1. I know there’s a possibility that some of it could be water weight, but I’m not counting on it. I still have some trouble with bloating, but it has gotten much, much better (i.e. it is no longer painful, just merely unpleasant). I don’t have any soreness or fatigue anymore, but I have been really sleepy lately – yet having trouble sleeping at night. Another weird thing is that I have seen some minor breakouts, which I haven’t had since college. Could this be a sign that my hormones are going back to normal?? Hope so!!
I really felt like my hunger was starting to stabilize for a while. I was comfortable eating my calorie minimums and seemed to feel the sensation of hunger at appropriate times (which I did my very best to respond to at all times!) However, just last night, extreme hunger decided to visit me again in the wee hours of the morning. I had to get up and eat at 5 AM, which sucked because I was soooo tired! But I started feeling nauseous, which for me is a sign that I need food, stat. (Does this happen to anyone else?) I was finally able to squeeze in an hour of sleep after that. The extreme hunger is still lingering today – I will most likely eat well above minimums, and I’m cool with that.
Never better! I think spending some time at home with my family in TN was just what I needed. I’ve been able to draw my mind away from food and body image and focus on more important things. I honestly can’t remember my last drama-filled “I’m so fat and I hate my life” emotional breakdown, so things are clearly moving in the right direction. Spending some time outdoors this weekend has also lifted my spirits; there’s definitely something to be said about the powerful spiritual connection with nature and it’s positive effects on mood. It also doesn’t hurt that I have a few sets of new clothes that actually fit me now. It’s hard to be happy when your size 2 jeans are squashing your internal organs and you can’t breathe, and your muffin tops have gone to like professional bakery level. Okay that was an exaggeration, but you catch my drift.
So yes, I’d say that my progress so far is pretty much awesome! Have a wonderful week everyone 🙂
Do you think face breakouts have something to do with hormonal change? Or completely unrelated?
What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten in the middle of the night?