So Good to be Home

This weekend was a whirlwind of excitement and (to a lesser extent) anxiety.  I discussed my fears in my previous post my fears about eating this weekend at the state championship swim meet that I was coaching at.

In a nutshell, things pretty much went according to plan.  As predicted, my anxieties did surface and I had to consciously control my thoughts to keep my self from slipping back into disordered eating.  There was one night that I had pizza for dinner.  I don’t know why but I just felt so GROSS afterward.  I’m not used to eating late at night and I really had a hard time sleeping with such a heavy meal in my stomach.  But when I woke up the next morning I was fine – even proud of myself for not feeling the need to restrict to compensate.

Yep, I had the one with the avos on top 🙂

The next day I ended up having to eat a fast food breakfast – it was literally either McDonalds or starve.  I chose McDonalds.  I felt surprisingly fine after eating it, and it kept me full until the break between meet sessions.  I ended up finding some good options for lunch and dinner that day, so I ended the day on a good note.

But OOOhhhhemmmmgeeeeee the next day was not good you guys.  I think it must have been from the unavoidable amount of “exercise” that I had gotten from a long day of coaching.  I felt achy and tired – my whole body felt swollen.  My face was puffy and I had huge bags under my eyes.  And there was a point that day where my stomach was so bloated and distended that I thought I was going to cry.  I’m sure half the kids on my team probably think I’m pregnant again.  But I kept eating despite it, and it eventually went away.  Thank you Jesus!  I spent some time on the Your Eatopia website and concluded that this was all normal and okay – so I feel better about it.

Looking back on it, I really feel like this weekend was a huge accomplishment.  I didn’t use the swim meet as an excuse to starve myself.  I didn’t take in any pride in the number of calories I burned while running around all day.  I ate when I was hungry.  Yeah I definitely had some body image issues (planning another post on body image in the swimming world this week!) and physical discomfort, but I made sure to keep my recovery in the forefront of my mind.  I know it seems like no big deal to some, but a weekend away from home when you’re only 7 days into recovery is a huge obstacle to throw at someone.  Needless to say, I am looking forward to a quiet week at home!

Let me also just say that I have not weighed myself in 7 days!!!!  Whoop whoop!!!

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