My Recovery Plan

I initially thought I should start by telling my story but have come to realize that’s not what’s best for me.  I think focusing on the present and future will help me move in a positive direction and lead to an ultimately better outcome.  Once I feel like I am recovered, I will share and reflect upon my story and my past.

Since I don’t have any pressing medical issues and I am not clinically “underweight” I will not be using the assistance of any doctors, RDs, or therapists.  In other words, my recovery team is just me, my husband, and any potential readers who may eventually stumble across my site.  I know it will be harder this way, but we’re not really in a place financially to be paying a therapist.

My basic framework around which my recovery is centered is the “MinnieMaud” method as discussed on the Your Eatopia website.  In a nutshell there are three rules to follow:

  1. Unrestricted eating.  What you want, when you want, in any quantity.  Do not allow yourself to feel restricted at all.  It goes even further to say that you must meet certain calorie minimums based on your age, weight, and sex.
  2. No weighing or measuring.
  3. No exercise.

The basic theory is that everyone has a weight set point, and that if you respect your body’s hunger signals without restraint, you will naturally gain weight until you reach that point.  Once reached, you can continue to eat without restriction and you won’t gain weight.  I know.  It contradicts pretty much everything I learned as a nutrition student.  But the scientific evidence is extraordinary and I’m gonna give it a shot!

Here is how I currently feel about the three aspects of MinnieMaud (MM) recovery:

  1. Unrestricted eating – fine.  However, I know this will be gradual for me.  I have no problem eating to my hunger cues but it’s the types of food that I will struggle with.  I still have a tendency to cling to “safe” meals that I have deemed as being healthy.  But over the past 3 days I have been able to loosen up on my rules – hopefully this will continue to improve.  But as far as the minimums go – I am VERY uneasy about counting calories to ensure I meet those minimums.  I will do a separate post on that topic soon since it has really been weighing on my mind.
  2. Ehh I really want to weigh myself, but I’m going to do my best to resist.  I can’t simply throw away my scale because my husband wants to use it.  And he paid for it.  (We’re cheap, ok?)  I’ve never taken measurements, but I am a 24-7 body-checker – that is something I can work on.
  3. Kill me now.  No exercise is like no oxygen.  I will go crazy.  But I know how ridiculously crucial this part is so I’m going to do my best given my current situation.  I will still go to the super easy yoga class a few times a week, mostly so my toddler can get some playtime with other kids.  I will also take her swimming because the girl is a fish.  I’ll play with her outside.  But no more running, no more lap swimming, no more weight lifting, no more spin class, no more pushing myself through difficult yoga poses.  THIS IS SO HARD!

As I mentioned in my previous post I will also be reading 7 Habits to help me change my way of thinking.  I will also have the support of my main man Jesus Christ whenever things get poopy.  I am uneasy and nervous but hopeful and excited at the same time.  I’m having to let go of things from my past that determined who I was… and now I’m ready to make ME the one who’s in charge of who I am!

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11 thoughts on “My Recovery Plan

  1. Can I come along on the ride with you and Sam? I’m severely underweight and can’t afford a hospital program with no insurance. 😦 I just can’t seem to allow myself to eat more without purging, though. I get scared/overwhelmed/anxious…even though I need to gain weight. I only wish I had found your blog a month earlier so I could join you from the beginning. I’ll be busy trying to catch up by reading all your past posts….that’s a lot of reading though! You seem to be doing well with it as of March 26th. Good for you!!

    • Why of course my dear! I would be honored for you to join me! I would highly suggest going to the Your Eatopia website and reading through the posts there. It is so eye opening… it was the turning point for me. The forums there as well as the blogging community are what’s keeping me going. I am always just an email away if you need someone to talk to & please keep me updated on your progress!

      • thanks so much. Such a nice person you are!! I’m so proud of you. Thanks for the website recommendation, too! My gi system is whaco right now! Horrible pain and constipation (tmi). I have eliminated dairy and gluten and raw veggies. And so bloated and gassy. It is making this so challenging. 😦

      • Ah yes GI troubles have been plaguing me for the last 4 years or so. You’d be surprised how much food restriction plays a role in weakening our digestive system. People are so quick to blame “bad” foods, when really our own restrictive habits have slowed our metabolic rate and damaged our GI tracts.

  2. Syd, that is why I keep eliminating my foods and writing food journals, in desperate attempt to find my trigger foods…to try and stop the horrible pain and other distressing and disabling symptoms. I’ve tried so many different IBS diets (no gluten, no dairy, no caffeine, low fat, no coffee/soda, no red meat, ,low fodmaps, low fructose, low sugar, no bananas or oats) But it doesn’t seem to help much. But I’m afraid if I do eat them, the pain and such will be even worse. I know many women who have these symptoms who do NOT have EDs. Most have found their trigger foods and have been greatly helped by eliminating them from their diets. So isn’t this what I should do too because the symptoms are so disabling? Plus, I am on so many expensive supplements (probiotics, digestive enzymes, medications, slippery elm…..too many to name). Sorry so long. I should have emailed you instead. Are there any foods you cannot tolerate at all? Or do eat/drink all foods/drinks?? I tried to read the post on Your Eutopia about GI problems, but I’m unclear about what she advices to do about it. Thanks for listening. How often do you post?

    • Honestly, for me the whole struggle with trying to figure out what was wrong and what foods were causing it created so much mental anguish for me that I was ready to just be DONE with it. For now, I do not restrict any foods other than caffeine (because I can’t sleep), alcohol (because I want to conceive) and artificial sweeteners (bc they give me headaches and make me have to pee too much!) You see, no matter what foods I tried to eliminate I still had the same problems. You really need to do your best to give in to your hunger fully and not deny it what it wants. The research I’ve read suggests that once you have fully restored your metabolism and rebuilt your GI system (by resting and eating lots of calories daily!), many if not all of your food intolerances disappear. It was so freeing to just let it all go and eat what my body asked for. I think once I feel like I am fully recovered, I can THEN start to try and identify problem foods IF I am still having issues. Hope this helps! I usually try to post 3-4 times a week.

  3. Syd, I am so excited and proud of you for embarking on this difficult journey! I have been there. I am still battling digestive issues and dealing with other side effects from my battle with anorexia. Don’t give up! I can’t wait to see you beat this dang thing 🙂

    • Thank you for your support! Sorry to hear that you are also being plagued with digestive woes… anorexia can do some nasty things to your GI system, huh?

      Sidenote: I love the name Kendall. In fact, my parents gave me the pleasure of naming my little sister. Guess what I named her? 😉

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